Nothing but a link today.... You Know that Driver You Flipped Off.....

Nothing but  link today to the Star Tribune.  
You Know That Truck Driver You Flipped Off?   Let Me Tell You His Story.......
http://www.startribune.com/opinion/otherviews/126619568.html


If you want to be a better person....  start by being a better customer....  
I know situations like these are dangerous and freak people out,  but if you surived that means you have the capabilty to forgive.  

Being Late Everywhere You Go-- Get Off the Defense

Most of the trick is to say what you want to say without a defensive heart so it doesn't sound like your a snot.   Its not like your trying to find joy in this situation.  Your not being gleeful about them being inconvenienced. Yes, your reputation is taking a hit, and your just as unhappy as they are about you being late.  But.  But, you don't want to add ass or idiot on to that image either.

Let go of the defensive protection that you so badly want to put up.  Eventually you want to get to a place where you show no fear.  Hopefully by the time you get to that spot you will have drastically reduced the amount of times that you have been late.  If not...  finding that place of "no fear" will help you be in a better position to handle any angst that comes your way.

This can be kind of hard if the person you answer to has issues and think they earn their paycheck by asserting control, and have a need to say those words that they say to ensure that they continue to get paid.  Let them say it.  Be polite.  Be honest.  Use less words.  Be direct.  Keep it short.  Remember to not give them any ammunition.  Drop the competition.  All actions should be based on trying to get out of the situation and not make it worse.  Do not attempt to improve the immediate situation.  Just get out of it.  Its not going happen by being witty, proving up on them, getting the best of them or winning the showdown.  Improvement comes from somewhere outside of this confrontation, not within it.  Improvement in this area has nothing to do with your boss.  Its a personal adjustment.  Do not start munching on any carrots, grab any ropes or get yourself hooked on any bait.  Let them say what they think they have to say.  Pay your consequences and move on.

Your not naughty, naughty, naughty.  Your an Adult.  Your an Adult who was late.  Act like it.  If you get written up or any black mark is taken against you, stand there and take it.   You knew it.  You saw it coming.  It will all be over soon.  You will recover.

Being Late Everywhere You Go-- Patience

Immediately after getting a grip, be patient, and wait for any dialog to come your way.  Get Busy.  Don't stand there like a target.  Get to work.  Start the activity.  Participate in the party.  That is why they want you there.  That is why you stopped what you were doing to go there.

Don't lean over to your coworkers and rehearse your explanation before the big boss comes.  Do Not clue in your buddies or start culling your pity defense team.  I understand that nerves are going to run high.  You will be so pissed or nervous that paper will shake in your hands.  The need to seek control is going to peak til it almost hurts.  The trick is to say minimal, speak only when spoken to and stick to the truth without getting personal.  Your always told to leave your personal baggage at home.  Why, oh why, do they demand that you bring those bags along when you are late?  Again, I'll say, there is no good enough excuse.  Stuff came up, you handled those and now you will handle this too.  Either that or you were dragging butt and being lazy because you need a break.

So give yourself a break and do your part in keeping it short.

Yes and no answers are the best.  Anything after that is elaborating and sounds like an excuse.  Most likely they have quit listening to focus internally, and have started working on their rebuttal. Don't believe me? The next time you continue on with a bunch of supporting sentences, watch their eyes.  When you stick to monosyllabic answers, you aren't handing over ammunition for them to come back and corner you.

Use less words, so it doesn't sound like you are trying to escape the consequences.  Your trying to improve the situation, not make it worse.  Truth is, you have no real excuse for being late.  At least not one that is different than anyone else.  Why have your co-workers been late?   Why was your Boss late?  True, they might not be habitually late, but they have been late before and your reason isn't anymore creative or outstanding than theirs.  They all have laundry, kids, parents, phone calls, appointments and a social life.  There is no I'm special here and you know it.  You know it even when you're trying playing that card.  If you don't have a good enough answer?  Say that.  But before you do, you really need to know and believe that everything will be okay, even if the unexpected comes up.  You need to know, so it comes out sounding like the honest answer that it is, rather than some snotty quip played on the defense.  You know your not supposed to be late.  You need to figure out how not to get yourself into this position before you get yourself into this position.

I have no idea why they think they are the secret cure to your habitual lateness.  Seems sort of presumptuous doesn't it? That your not late anymore because they said...threatened...embarrassed.  So keep it short.  Drop the competition to get ones goat.  Minimize the confrontation.  Be polite. You do not want to be in this position.  End it.  And try again tomorrow. 

Being Late Everywhere You Go-- Getting A Grip

In an overloaded lifestyle anything can send anyone into a tizzy.  Its a little more to it, than just being on time, or the common advise to learn to say No, or suggestions to be more efficient.    Its a little more than just making up your mind to never do it again. 

Everyone has convictions and will power.  There is a whole bunch of stuff to take into consideration before you fix being habitually late.  There are things like taking a look at the modern 24 Hour Day.  Questioning if we are an Adrenal Nation?  Learning How to Enjoy the Mundane.  Keeping it real doesn't always mean to show off your worst self.  People Pleasers don't recognize themselves as People Pleasers, so quit saying it.  Right now I'm saying that when you are at your worst it might be best to not aim for perfection.  Let go of the chase for that stuff called happiness.  Sometimes its best to try and not being your worst.   For example, if your completely defensive when you walk in from being late, try some of these.

• Don't say word.   
• Watch your body language, be open. 
• Be polite
• Be honest
• Use less words
• Be direct

• Don't be chipper
• Don't fake it until you make it
• Don't appear to be indulging yourself in evil tendencies to be a pain in the butt to everyone else.  
• Do NOT beat them to the punch and rattle off long nervous sentences.
• Don't automatically hand over any excuse.   
• Do Not wonder what you are going to say, give any thought to, create, or come up with any excuses while you are in transit of being late.   

Why?  Because you aren't going to say anything.  Once I started keeping my mouth shut, I figured out they quit asking a long time ago.   Yes, it is quite excruciating to start work thinking that they are going to ask at any minute.  But you will get through it and you will live.   If you were going to get fired for being late they aren't going to fire you for your lack of words this time.

If by chance you do get fired, its because they made this decision the last time you were late and in most cases you probably already know.  You will have to trust that it may ultimately lead to options that will bring about a better lifestyle.

I know the next time you are late nerves are going to be running high and you aren't going to remember most of this.  Get a grip and remember you aren't in any contest to provide the most winning excuse.  Use less words.